


Everybody Needs A Shadow

by Oktober, velvetjinx



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Captain America Reverse Big Bang 2017, Fluff, M/M, Natasha Romanov Is a Good Bro, Shameless Smut, Tony Stark is Extra
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-22
Updated: 2017-05-22
Packaged: 2018-11-02 11:47:38
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,237
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10943871
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Oktober/pseuds/Oktober, https://archiveofourown.org/users/velvetjinx/pseuds/velvetjinx
Summary: After the events of Avengers: Age of Ultron, the newly reformed Avengers are in Bucharest on an intel-finding mission, when Steve crosses paths with someone he knows, oh so well indeed. Bucky is no longer the Winter Soldier, and seems to be happily living a new life in Romania, unburdened by his past.But Steve has never been able to let things lie when it comes to Bucky, and this new, fragile life is about to get turned upside down.





	Everybody Needs A Shadow

**Author's Note:**

> velvetjinx: Oh god, where to start. First of all, a HUGE thank you to the CapRBB mods for putting this together. It's been the best experience. Thanks to the slack chat for inspiring me in a million different ways. Thanks to eyesofshinigami for the read through and cheerleading early on (and all the way through), ediblecrayon for being one of my biggest supporters, obsessivereader and Buckities for the beta and (hopefully) helping me become a better writer, and Oktober for making such amazingly inspiring art. I've loved every minute of this experience, and now it's nearly over I just want to do it all over again!
> 
> Title is from "Happy Ending" by The Strokes.

The team is in Bucharest on an intel finding mission, and Steve is tired and pretty much ready to go home. 

"You're getting old, Rogers," Natasha teases him when he tells her this as they sit in Nat's hotel room, and he mock glares at her. "Why don't you go out and see a bit of the city while you're here? It'd do you good to get out for once."

"I get out," Steve protests weakly. "You gonna come with me if I do?"

"Nah, I'm gonna stay right here and watch movies until it's time to pack up my stuff and head back."

"Ever heard of practicing what you preach?" Steve grumbles good-naturedly, but he knows she's right. He does need to get out more. Besides, Bucharest is a beautiful city. It would be a shame not to see more of it while he's here. 

He leaves the hotel and wanders down from there to Strada Măgura Vulturului, heading down various other residential streets until he reaches Bulevardul Ferdinand I. Then he turns right, not really paying attention to where he's going--just looking at all the buildings and people as he passes. 

At length, he comes upon a large local market on Șoseaua Pantelimon and smiles. Maybe he'll take Nat back some fruit to say thank you for-- 

His thoughts stutter to a halt as he stares at one of the stalls. A man is standing there, pointing at the eggplants on display as he chats avidly in Romanian to the young woman behind the stall. Steve's breath catches in his throat as the man laughs loudly at something the woman says, his expression bright and happy. Steve blinks a few times, a familiar name stuck on his tongue, but as the man looks up, Steve immediately ducks behind the nearest large object. 

It can't be. It can't possibly, and yet… it is. 

It's Bucky, and he looks good. Better than the last time Steve had seen him, anyway. He's wearing a tan jacket and a blue baseball cap, with just a hint of stubble on his face. Steve has never wanted to reach out and touch someone more in his life, but he knows instinctively that this isn't the right time, so he waits. When Bucky leaves, Steve follows him. 

Bucky wanders down some side streets, finally arriving at a large apartment block. Steve watches him go inside, and immediately goes around the corner to call Natasha. 

"Hey, Rogers, you're interrupting my movie marathon."

"You speak Romanian, right?"

"What kind of question is that?"

"Just answer me, Natasha,” he says abruptly. "Yes or no."

"Jeez, keep your panties on. Yes, I speak Romanian. Why?"

"I need you to get here right now."

"Is it to do with..."

"It's Bucky. I saw him."

There's silence on the other end of the line for a few moments. "Steve, are you sure...?"

"I'm sure, Nat. It was him."

"Did he see you?"

"I don't think so."

"Where are you?" 

"I'm at the corner of Strada Avrig and Aleea Avrig," he tells her, and he hears her sigh. 

"I'm on my way."

She gets there about fifteen minutes later, and narrows her eyes when she sees him. "Are you sure this is a good idea?"

"I don't care, Natasha. It's Bucky."

She looks at him searchingly. "What do you want me to do?"

"Translate."

They walk up to the apartment building and go in through the front door, which has been propped open. A woman is coming down the stairs and Steve says, "Excuse me?"

The woman looks at him questioningly, and Natasha translates. 

"I'm looking for a man who came in here," Steve says, as Natasha rapidly repeats what he's saying in Romanian. "He was wearing a red shirt, a tan jacket and a blue baseball cap. He's got long brown hair and blue eyes and stubble..."

The woman nods. "Jake?" she asks, then says something in Romanian. 

"She says he lives a floor above her and sometimes helps her with her groceries."

"Can you tell me which apartment? He's… an old friend." Steve swallows. 

The woman nods again and says something else, which Nat immediately translates into the apartment number. 

"Thank you so much.” Steve reaches forward and clasps her hands gratefully, and she smiles. He turns to leave with a heavy sigh, and Natasha follows him out. 

"You're not going to see him now?"

Steve shakes his head. "Soon."

"Why Jake?" Natasha wonders. 

"Jake was his dog's name when we were kids,” Steve replies softly without looking at her. 

Natasha gives him a sympathetic look, but Steve ignores her, his head down and eyes focused on the sidewalk as they walk back towards the hotel. 

***

His decision to stay in Bucharest for a few more days surprises Natasha not in the least, but she keeps his confidence when he tells everyone else he just wants a vacation. 

He waits a couple of days before approaching Bucky's apartment. When he gets there, he knocks hesitantly, but there's no reply. Steve fights with himself for a few moments, trying to decide on the best course of action, but decides to wait, leaning against the wall as he checks the messages on his phone. 

Ten minutes later there's the sound of footsteps on the stairs and Steve straightens up. Bucky is looking down at his keys as he rounds the corner, but his head snaps up immediately as though he senses that someone is there. Their eyes meet and Steve can see the panic in Bucky's face. 

"Bucky? Do you know who I am?" Steve asks softly. 

Bucky swallows. "You're Steve." He drops his gaze. "I, uh. I read about you in a museum."

Steve's heart drops into his stomach. If Bucky doesn't remember... But then he thinks for a moment and narrows his eyes. 

"Why did you pull me from the river?"

"I don't know," Bucky responds, but Steve could always tell when Bucky was lying to him. 

"I think you do."

Bucky sighs heavily, and seems to come to a decision. "Do you want to come in? It's not much, but..."

"Please. I'd--I'd really like that."

Bucky walks up to the door and unlocks it, leading Steve inside. He’s right, it isn’t much, but Steve can see what Bucky has done to make his small apartment into a home. It almost reminds Steve of his old, tiny apartment in Brooklyn, and something in his chest cracks open. Bucky has a life here--maybe he doesn't want Steve to be a part of that. There's a thin mattress on the floor in lieu of a bed, and a beat-up old chest up against one of the walls, but there are bits and pieces and knick-knacks around that make the place feel lived in.

"Buck, I'm… I'm so sorry if I'm intruding," he says stiltedly. "I didn't think..."

"When did you ever?" Bucky asks, but there's a small indulgent smile playing at the corners of his lips, and Steve's heart leaps. "How did you find me?"

"By accident. We were here, in Bucharest, following up on some leads and I saw you when I was out walking around the city. I followed you here and asked around..."

"Since when do you speak Romanian?" Bucky asks, surprised. 

"I don't," Steve replies with a laugh. "It was Natasha. She translated for me."

"Natasha?"

"She's--she _was_ \--a Russian assassin. Now she's an Avenger."

"Like you."

"Like me."

"She your girlfriend?" Bucky asks, his expression unreadable. 

"Natasha? God, no. We're just good friends. I tease her about her boyfriends, she teases me about being technically nearly a hundred years old..." He trails off when he sees the incredulous expression on Bucky's face. He's rambling, still comfortable around Bucky after all those years apart. "It's just kidding around. She really is a good friend."

Bucky nods, then scrubs a hand down his face. "I don't know what you want here, Steve."

Steve shrugs. "I don't know either. I guess… I just wanted to see you again, to make sure you were okay. It looks like you have a life here."

"I suppose. It seemed as good a place as any to hide."

"What are you hiding from?"

"God, Steve, I'm a murderer. A war criminal. A Hydra tool. And I nearly killed you, which is why I don't understand why you're here!" Bucky cries, and suddenly Steve gets it. 

"Oh my god, Bucky, do you honestly think I'd blame you for that? Do you think I wouldn't still be your friend? After everything we've been through together, after everything we were to each other, did you think I wouldn’t want to see you again?"

Bucky looks at him, the expression in his eyes like a hunted animal, and Steve doesn't even think--just strides across the divide between them and wraps Bucky up in his arms. Bucky tenses for a moment before his own arms come up to tentatively hug Steve back. Steve doesn't want to let go, but does eventually, and Bucky smiles shyly at him. 

"So what now?"

"Come home with me," Steve replies, and Bucky thinks for a moment before nodding. 

"Okay." He smiles wide and sincere and it's like the sun coming out in Steve's heart. 

***

It's easier said than done. Bucky has a passport, a fake of course, but doesn't have any papers that would allow him to stay in the US. 

"I honestly didn't think I'd be going back there." Bucky shrugs. "At least, not freely."

Steve does as usual when he has no idea what to do, and calls Natasha. 

"Rogers! Good to hear from you. Your old friend hasn't killed you yet then?" she says when she answers, and Steve rolls his eyes. 

"Don't be a bitch, Nat," he says fondly. "Yes, I found him, and he's agreed to come home with me. The only problem is..."

"Let me guess, he’s got no papers?"

"Yeah, pretty much. He has a passport, but--"

"Yeah, I get it. Okay, let me see what I can do. I might come out there again. That would probably make things easier."

"You could just give me instructions, you know," Steve tells her as he looks out of Bucky's window over the city. 

"Oh, come on, Rogers, you know it's not a real magic trick if you see behind the scenes," she says with a laugh. "Okay, I'd better go book some flights, but I'll let you know when I'm going to get there." She pauses. "Steve, you know you could talk to Tony about..."

"No. I don't want Tony involved," Steve replies shortly. That's a can of worms he doesn't want to open yet. 

"Oh-kay. Well, like I said, I'll be in touch with my ETA and we'll go from there. I just hope you know what you're doing, Steve."

"I do." And god, bringing his friend home is the only thing he could possibly want to do since he saw Bucky that day. Steve's been years without the most important person in his life and now that he's got him back, he's not planning on letting go. 

They say their goodbyes, and Bucky, who's been pretending not to listen, looks at Steve questioningly. 

"Nat is going to help us."

"Who's Tony?" Bucky asks curiously. 

Steve sighs inwardly; this really isn't a conversation he wants to get into. "Stark. Howard Stark's son."

Bucky goes pale, confirming what Steve has read in his file. "Steve, I..."

"I know, Buck. I know," Steve cuts him off. "And we'll deal with it if we have to, but I'm hoping that we don't have to, okay? The less said about it the better."

"Maybe it's best if I just stay here," Bucky says wearily, but Steve is having none of it. 

"Really? This is the life you want to live? Alone and always looking over your shoulder, instead of with someone who… cares about you?"

Bucky hangs his head. "I guess. I just don't want to make life difficult for you."

"That's never going to matter, Buck. You're my best friend. You've always been there for me, and I'll always be there for you. That's how it works."

"I thought Natasha was your best friend now," Bucky says, but Steve can tell he's teasing. 

"Nah. Besides, she's got a thing for a guy who turns into a hulk--I'm not getting in the middle of that," Steve replies with a grin. 

"Seriously?" Bucky asks, eyes wide, and Steve nods emphatically. 

"Oh yeah."

"Tell me about them. The Avengers."

So Steve does. They sit down on a couple of rickety fold out chairs and he tells Bucky about Clint, and their surprise when they discovered he had a family. About Thor, the god of thunder--Bucky can barely believe that one--and his magical hammer. About Nat and Tony, Vision, Rhodey and Bruce, Fury and Wanda, and finally Sam. Bucky goes quiet when Steve talks about Sam. Steve gives him a curious look. 

"I remember Sam--the guy in the bird costume. I nearly killed him," Bucky says quietly. 

Steve closes his eyes briefly. "No. The Winter Soldier nearly killed him. That wasn't you."

"It kind of was, though." Bucky shrugs. "And I get the feeling he won't be my biggest fan."

"I'll talk Sam around. He's a good guy."

"He sounds it." There's a question in Bucky's eyes, and Steve gives him a small smile. 

"And he's a good friend. That's all."

Bucky nods, then sighs, leaning back in his chair. "Man, I can't believe that everyone we knew way back when is gone."

"Not everyone." 

Bucky looks at him sharply. 

"Peggy is still alive."

Bucky's eyes widen. "Peggy? As in Peggy Carter?"

"She got married, but… yeah. She lived a full life, but she's--she's old now, Buck. Her mind wanders sometimes."

"Oh, Steve. That must be tough." Bucky reaches out and squeezes Steve's arm. 

Steve smiles at the casual touch. "It's not easy. But it is what it is, you know? You've no idea how happy I was, realizing that she was alive when they brought me out of the ice. That I got to see her again."

"You visit her often?" Bucky asks, his tone sympathetic. 

Steve nods. "Pretty often. She's one of the few who really calls me on my shit, you know?"

"She always was." Bucky grins. "It must be weird, though, seeing the love of your life so old when you're still young."

"Peggy wasn't the love of my life," Steve says softly. "I loved her, yeah, but."

Bucky goes quiet, and Steve wonders if he's said too much, but before he can think about how to get back to the easy camaraderie they had been sharing, he's interrupted by the loud ringing of his phone. He checks the screen before answering. 

"Hey, Nat.”

"Hey, Rogers, I'm all booked. You still staying in the same hotel?"

"Uh, yeah."

"Good, cause that's where I'm booked in too. I'll get there tomorrow morning at eleven a.m. What's your room number?"

"Two-five-seven."

"Okay. I'll come find you after I check in. Oh, and Steve?" she adds, sounding hesitant. "Just… be careful, okay?"

"I always am," he responds with a grin, and hangs up on her irritated stuttering response. 

"Everything okay?" Bucky asks, and Steve nods. 

"Nat's gonna be here tomorrow morning and she'll get everything sorted." Steve hesitates. "I mean, Buck, if this is what you want to do… I don't want to force you into anything if you're happy here."

Bucky shoots him a small smile. "I'm pretty sure this is the right thing to do, Steve. Though I'll need a place to live when I get to the US."

"You're staying with me," Steve says straight away. "I've got an apartment, you'll stay with me until you find somewhere. Or you can, you know. Just stay."

Bucky's expression softens. "We'll see. But thanks."

"You're my best friend, Bucky. That's all that matters." Steve frowns. "Hey, you got a pen and some paper?"

Bucky gets up and rummages around in a drawer in the chest, before coming back with a chewed black pen and a scrap of paper, which he hands to Steve. Steve scribbles quickly on the paper and passes it back to Bucky, who looks at it curiously. 

"That's the name of the hotel I'm staying at, and my room number. You know the hotel?"

"I know where it is. It’s down Șoseaua Iancului, right?"

"Yeah. Okay. You should probably come by about eleven, eleven thirty tomorrow morning to meet Nat."

Bucky nods, pocketing the piece of paper. "What now?"

"You hungry?"

Bucky grins. 

***

They go to a restaurant that Bucky seems to know well, a little local place off the beaten track. It looks unassuming from the outside, but inside is brightly lit, friendly and welcoming with a homey feel to it. Bucky has to translate the menu for Steve and order for him, but Steve doesn't mind. The food is tasty and plentiful, and Steve talks more about the Avengers, telling Bucky about New York and Sokovia. 

"What is it with your team and robots, man?" Bucky says with a laugh, and for a moment Steve can almost believe they're young again, just hanging out in Brooklyn. 

"I don't know, but if I never see another one in my life I'll be happy." Steve sits back, pleasantly full. "God, that food was amazing. No wonder you like it here."

Bucky shrugs. "It has its perks, for sure. But I don't know. Maybe it'll be good to go home."

"It's a lot different," Steve warns him, and Bucky laughs. 

"I know that, Steve. I'd be worried if it wasn't."

Steve insists on paying the check when it comes, and Bucky walks him back to his hotel. When they say goodnight it's slightly stilted, though, and Steve wonders again just how much Bucky remembers. They haven't touched on the past at all in their whole conversation, and Steve almost wonders if he dreamed what they were to each other before. 

***

Bucky arrives at Steve’s hotel room at eleven sharp the next morning, and Steve lets him in with a smile. Bucky smiles back, but Steve can tell he's nervous from the tenseness of his expression and the way he fidgets with his hands. 

"Don't worry, Buck," Steve says. "Nat is great."

"Yeah, well, I'm pretty sure I tried to kill her too, so I'm not sure how much she's going to like me." Bucky laughs hollowly.

Steve stares at him, feeling completely helpless, but can't think of anything that might comfort his friend. He sits on the large double bed, his back to the headboard, as Bucky stands, his hands in his pockets, looking uncomfortable. After a few moments, Steve gives him a look. 

"You wanna sit down? You're making me nervous."

"Sorry," Bucky replies, looking sheepish, and sits gingerly on the edge of the bed. Steve scoots down so he's laying down and sighs. 

"You know you can make yourself comfortable, right?"

Bucky looks at him for a moment then shakes his head with a smile. He toes off his shoes and sits up on the bed beside Steve, legs sprawled out in front of him. 

"Better?"

"Much."

Steve can feel himself drifting off as he lies on the almost too-soft mattress, Bucky's presence as familiar to him as breathing. Bucky seems content to sit in silence, and before Steve knows it, he's woken up by a loud knocking at the door. He feels rather than sees Bucky tense, and his eyes fly open. 

Steve jumps off the bed, his finger to his lips as he looks through the spy hole. He smiles when he sees who's on the other side of the door and opens it wide. 

"You're a pain in my ass, Rogers, you know that?" Nat snarks, then stops when she spots Bucky sitting on the bed. "Hi."

"Hey," Bucky replies, his shoulders hunched and his whole body on alert, as if ready to bolt at any moment. 

Steve sighs. "Nat, this is Bucky. Buck, this is Natasha."

Bucky manages a small smile. "It's nice to meet you."

"You mean when you're not shooting at me?" Natasha asks with a raised eyebrow, and Bucky tenses even more. 

"I don't do that any more."

"Nat," Steve says, his tone a warning. "Be nice. Bucky's been through a lot."

Natasha sighs. "Fine, I'll play nice. It's nice to meet you properly too, Barnes." She turns to Steve and grins. "So I hit up one of my Romanian contacts and they should have all the papers ready this afternoon. You got a photograph?" she asks Bucky.

Bucky nods, going into his backpack and emerging with a sheet of passport-sized photographs. He hands these to Nat, who puts them in her bag. 

"You need anything else?" Steve asks her. 

"Nope. I'll be back in about three hours." She smiles sunnily at them both before leaving with a wave, and Steve takes a deep, relaxing breath. 

"So that's Natasha, huh?" Bucky asks. 

"Yeah. I'm sorry, Buck, I didn't realize she'd be so..."

"Steve, it's fine," Bucky interrupts. "She seems very protective of you."

"She is a little. She keeps trying to set me up with women she knows."

"You go out with any of them?" Bucky asks curiously. 

"Nah. One of them had piercings and tattoos and, man, I don't know if I'm ready for that yet."

Bucky bursts out laughing and Steve grins. Maybe things are going to be okay after all. 

***

They stay in Steve's hotel room watching random Romanian programs on the large tv on the wall until Nat returns, looking slightly harassed. 

"Your papers," she says, handing Bucky an envelope. “I've made sure he included a fake doctor’s note for your metal arm to get you through airport security.”

"Thank you, Natasha," Bucky says quietly, and Natasha looks at him in surprise, before giving him a small smile.

"You're welcome."

Steve grins at both of them. "So when can we leave?"

Nat shrugs. "Whenever you like. My flight back is tomorrow. You could try and book the seats in front of me so that I can annoy you by kicking your chairs the entire flight."

"I think we'll pass. And you're sure we won't have any problems with these papers?"

"I'm sure. Besides, he's going to be traveling with Captain America. I don't think they're going to look too closely at his passport if he's with you." Nat grins. "At least this is one plane you won't be jumping out of without a parachute."

Steve darts a panicked glance at Bucky, who is frowning. "Uh..."

"Anyway, I'm going for a nap. Got dinner tonight with my contact. You two should probably book your flight and get packed up, and do whatever you need to do. I'll see you both tomorrow."

With that, Nat leaves, and Steve smiles at Bucky who is now frowning so hard he's almost glaring. 

Wanting to avoid the telling off Steve knows is coming, he tries to divert Bucky’s attention. "So, Buck, what do you want to--"

"You _jumped out of a plane without a parachute_?" Bucky growls, and _uh oh_. 

"I might have done that once. Or twice. Maybe a few times, I don't know."

"Jesus, Steve, do you have zero sense of self-preservation? No, wait, don't answer that. I already know the answer." Bucky sighs. "I just. Jesus."

"Um. So you want to get those flights booked now?" Steve asks, hoping to change the subject, and Bucky laughs hoarsely. 

"Yeah, okay. Let's do that."

Steve takes out his phone so he can search for flights. He manages to book them onto the same flight as Natasha after all, and Steve smiles at Bucky as the confirmation comes through. 

"Do you want to pack up what stuff you want and talk to your landlord about your lease this afternoon? You can meet me here tomorrow morning so we can travel to the airport."

Bucky nods. "I can't believe I'm going back," he says, so softly that Steve isn't sure he's meant to hear.

Steve's heart breaks just a little. But they're going home now, and that's all that matters. 

***

Their first flight to London is short enough that they don't really get the chance to talk, and during their layover the three of them are too busy trying to navigate the sprawling expanse of Heathrow airport to make small talk. The flight across the Atlantic, however, is long and boring. Halfway there Bucky falls asleep on Steve's shoulder, and Steve doesn't move a muscle so as not to waken him. It feels so right having Bucky asleep against him that Steve's heart thuds so loud he almost thinks that everyone can hear it. 

Nat's seat is further back, nowhere near theirs, and Steve is glad--glad that he doesn't have to share this moment with anyone. All too soon the plane is getting ready to land, and Steve shifts slightly, murmuring Bucky's name until he blinks his eyes open. Instead of the wariness that Steve expects, Bucky just smiles at him, before yawning. 

"Hey. Where are we?"

"Almost there."

"Hmm, okay," Bucky says, stretching. 

The seatbelt signs go back on with a ding. Steve's hand brushes against Bucky's as they reach for the buckles and they exchange a small smile. 

***

Steve needn't have worried. As soon as the security people at the airport see that Bucky is with Steve, they wave the three of them through with barely a glance at their passports, and shyly ask Steve if they can get photos with him. Bucky snorts and Nat grins, but Steve agrees, smiling wide as they all pose for the camera. 

"Thanks, Cap!" one of the guys says, and Steve gives him a small salute. 

"Thanks, guys. Keep up the good work!"

The three of them escape outside and Steve and Bucky say goodbye to Nat before they get into their cab. Steve gives the cabbie his address and they settle back into their seats. Steve glances at Bucky out the corner of his eye and sees him watching the city out the window, longing in his eyes. Steve wisely says nothing, and the ride passes in comfortable silence. 

When they arrive at Steve's apartment building, Steve leads Bucky up the stairs to his door. He pauses outside, suddenly nervous, pretending to look for the right key, then takes a deep breath and unlocks the door. He opens it wide and motions for Bucky to go in ahead of him. 

"Welcome home, Buck," he says softly.

Bucky turns around, smiling wistfully. "So this is your apartment, huh?"

"I know it's not much, but the couch folds out, and--"

"Steve. It's great."

Steve grins. "Thanks. Hey, you hungry?"

"Starving."

"Let's order takeout. There's a great pizza place I get takeout from sometimes. What toppings do you like?"

Bucky shrugs. "I'm not really fussy."

"I mean, we don't have to get pizza."

"No, I'd like to get pizza, I just haven't had it much recently." Bucky smiles. "Honestly, just get what you usually get. I'm sure it'll be great."

"Okay. There should be some beer in the fridge if you want to grab a couple?"

Bucky nods and fetches two beers from the kitchen just as Steve gets through to the pizza place. He orders two large pizzas, one with meat and one without as is his usual, then takes his beer from Bucky. They clink their bottles together and suddenly Steve is nineteen again, in his Brooklyn apartment having a beer with his best friend. 

"You okay?" Bucky asks softly, and Steve nods. 

"Yeah, just...this is so familiar, but not, you know?"

"I know," Bucky says, his smile a little sad, and Steve's heart aches. 

"Bucky," Steve says slowly, "I'm sorry, but… I gotta ask. How much do you remember?"

Bucky swallows. "Do you mean about what I did, or… before?"

"Before."

Bucky sighs. "Your mom's name was Sarah. She used to put newspapers in your shoes."

Steve's eyes go wide. "Buck..."

"I remember all of it, okay? All of what I did, all of before, all of it. It took a while, but once the memories started coming back..." Bucky says, his voice weary. "But I remember you, Steve. That little kid from Brooklyn who didn't know when to back down from a fight, him, I remembered pretty quick."

Steve nods. "When I first came to your apartment, you said you'd read about me in a museum."

"I did. After… after I pulled you from the river, my memories started to come back, and I went to the Captain America exhibit. I saw it all--you, me, the other Howling Commandos--and the memories just started to get stronger after that."

"I'm so sorry, Buck," Steve whispers, and Bucky shrugs. 

"Why? It's not your fault."

"It is. If I had managed to catch you before you fell from that train..."

"Steve, fuck, god, please tell me you don't blame yourself for that!" Bucky looks stricken. 

"Of course I do! I always have. If I'd just been a little faster, I could have saved you." Steve swallows hard. "I could have saved you from all of this," he finishes with a whisper. 

"Don't you dare, Steve. Don't you dare blame yourself. I was there and there was nothing you could have done to save me," Bucky says angrily. 

Steve opens his mouth to argue, but the knock on the door interrupts him before he can get a word out. 

"That'll be the pizza," he says instead, and grabs his wallet, going to the door. He pays the pizza guy, closes the door with his foot, and takes the two large boxes through to where Bucky is sitting. 

“Look, Bucky…” Steve begins, but Bucky shakes his head. 

“Steve, can we just eat? We can talk about this later if you want, but right now I’m just tired and hungry.”

Steve frowns, but reluctantly agrees. They demolish most of both pizzas quickly, foregoing any more talking in favour of eating, and soon they're both sitting back relaxing into the couch. 

"Damn, that was good," Bucky says, content, before draining the last of his beer. 

"Yeah. So I'm thinking that tomorrow I can take you to meet the rest of the team? They'll all be at Avengers Tower for a weekly debriefing and it would be a good opportunity for you to get to know them."

Bucky nods, twisting his fingers nervously. "You think that'll be okay?"

"More than okay. Don't worry about it. Only you and I know… certain things, so you don't need to worry about Tony.”

“Okay,” Bucky agrees, still looking a little unsure. 

They talk for the next hour about easy things; Bucky tells Steve a little about his life in Romania, including his neighbors--like the woman Steve had met, who Bucky always helped carry groceries for and whose daughter had drawn pictures of him as a thank you one day, and the elderly couple next door who had sworn he was too skinny when he first moved in and had insisted on feeding him up on home-cooked food. In turn, Steve tells Bucky about his next door neighbor who turned out to be a SHIELD agent, much to his surprise. At length, Steve looks at his watch. 

"We should probably turn in. Meeting starts early, so..."

"Yeah, definitely," Bucky agrees, and Steve goes to the closet and gets out some bedding before making up the couch bed for Bucky. 

"Bathroom's just in there." Steve points. "Well, goodnight, Buck."

"Goodnight, Steve.”

Steve goes to bed, his heart full. If Bucky remembers everything, then he surely remembers what they were to each other once--but Bucky hasn't mentioned it, and Steve isn't going to push. He sighs as he gets changed for bed. He misses that Bucky, but he'll take whatever he can get now. 

***

The next morning Steve wakes up from jumbled dreams of Bucky with a smile and a hard, leaking cock. He groans and rolls over, breathing deeply and thinking cold thoughts until his erection subsides. There's no way he's going to jerk off with Bucky in the next room, especially given the origin of his arousal. Not when Bucky has given no indication that he'd be open to that. 

He looks at the time--seven thirty, and the meeting at Avengers Tower isn't until ten, so there's plenty of time. 

He gets up and pads through to the living room to wake Bucky, but Bucky is already awake and dressed, the couch folded back up and the bed covers piled neatly beside him. He's reading one of Steve's books, though Steve can't see the title, and he looks so peaceful and happy that Steve hates to disturb him. 

"You gonna stand there all day or are you going to get your punk ass in here?" Bucky says suddenly, startling a laugh from Steve. 

"Typical. You're barely here a day and you're already abusing me," Steve responds with a grin, flopping down on one of the chairs opposite Bucky and kicking him gently with his bare foot. "Been awake long?"

"About an hour.” Bucky shrugs. "I'm a pretty early riser these days."

"Thanks for letting me sleep."

"Yeah, well, I know you need your beauty sleep," Bucky teases. 

"Jerk," Steve says with a laugh. "So I was thinking we'd go out for breakfast? There's a great diner nearby and they do amazing waffles."

"Sounds great. You going out like that?"

"Shut up," Steve retorts, trying not to blush. He's in boxers and a ratty T-shirt, his usual sleeping attire, but he suddenly feels self-conscious. 

"Go on, princess. Go get dressed so I can have waffles." Bucky laughs, and Steve rolls his eyes as he stalks back to his bedroom. 

Once he's dressed, he grabs his keys and wallet and goes back through to the living room. Bucky is standing by the bookcase. He's looking at a couple of framed photographs on a shelf of Steve with various members of the Avengers team in civilian clothes during a rare period of downtime, and his lips curl into a small smile

"Something you want to share with the class?" Steve asks, and Bucky starts. 

"Just thinking about the little guy I knew in Brooklyn, and how far he's come," he says softly. 

"I'm still that same guy, Buck. You know that, right?" Steve asks anxiously. 

"I know," Bucky says, his smile sad. "I wish I knew who _I_ was these days."

"You are Bucky, and you're my best friend, and we're going to go get waffles and bacon and coffee now," Steve replies firmly, and Bucky smiles a little brighter. 

"Lead the way."

***

The waffles are, as always, awesome. Bucky drowns his in syrup, the way he used to do when they were kids, and Steve smiles as their knees bump under the table. Bucky smiles back, syrup on his chin, and Steve's heart clenches at the sight of his friend looking so happy and carefree and… _normal_. 

"What?" Bucky asks around a mouthful of waffle and bacon, and Steve kicks him gently. 

"C’mon, Buck, chew."

Bucky chews and swallows, then sticks his tongue out. Steve can't help but laugh. 

"You're so ridiculous."

"Me? _You_ ," Bucky says, clearly floundering for a comeback. Which is fair. The waffles are so good they make it difficult to think and eat at the same time. 

When they're finished, Steve pays--"No, Bucky, shut up, you're my guest."--and they head back to Steve's apartment block to pick up his bike. 

"You okay riding one of these?" Steve asks, and Bucky's lips twitch. 

"I've ridden motorcycles before, Steve."

"Oh. Well, it’s been a while since you’ve ridden one with me, so are you okay with riding behind me?"

"I think I'll manage," Bucky replies dryly. "You're not planning on doing any stunt riding, are you?"

"I don't know what you mean," Steve responds loftily, and climbs onto the bike. Bucky clambers on behind him, his arms tightening around Steve's waist as he starts the bike, making Steve’s heart beat faster in his chest. Bucky is bulkier than he used to be, so the feeling is not quite familiar, but Steve still remembers the nights when they'd just lay in bed, Bucky's arm around his waist, tightening occasionally just to let Steve know he was there. 

"We going?" Bucky asks huskily into Steve's ear. Steve shakes himself out of his reverie and sets off towards Avengers Tower. 

***

They arrive in good time for the meeting, and Steve leads Bucky into the elevator and takes him up to the Avengers' area. Bucky is silent on the way up, and Steve can sense how tense he is the further up they go. 

When the elevator dings to a stop and the doors open, Steve practically has to pull Bucky out to where several of the team are sitting. Natasha is laughing with Sam and Clint, and Wanda chatting away with Vision. Tony is standing by the bar, talking to Rhodey with a drink in hand despite the early hour. They all stop as Steve and Bucky approach. 

Tony walks up to Bucky and Steve, a wide, fake-looking smile plastered on his face. 

"Tony, this is..."

"Yeah, uh huh," Tony says, before taking a swing, hitting Bucky in the jaw. Bucky reels back, looking stunned, hand going to his face. 

"Tony, what the hell?"

Steve gapes in horror, completely frozen as Tony bites out, "That was for my mom." He swings again, more wildly this time. As he punches Bucky a second time, Steve unfreezes. Natasha and Sam rush towards them, but Steve is closer, and runs to him to pull him back. "And that was for my dad!" Tony cries out. Bucky doesn't even move to defend himself, and Steve wonders why when he's more than capable of it. 

Nat and Sam are standing nearby, both of them tense and unsure of how to react to Tony’s sudden and unexpected outburst. Rhodey is shouting something in the background that Steve can't make out, too focused on Tony and Bucky. Instead of trying to attack Bucky again, Tony shakes off Steve's grip and twists around to face him. 

"Did you know?"

"I..."

"Don't bullshit me, Rogers," Tony spits. " _Did you know_?"

Steve looks him in the eyes, feeling utterly miserable. "Yes."

Tony pulls back his arm to punch him too, but Steve blocks him easily. Tony glares, then whirls around to face Bucky again. Bucky's lip is bleeding, but he doesn't seem to care. He's just standing there, waiting for Tony’s next move. 

"Do you even remember them?" Tony hisses.

Bucky winces, Tony's words hurting him in a way the punches couldn't. "I remember all of them," he replies dully. 

Tony looks helplessly between Steve and Bucky before shaking off Steve's restraining hand and stalking away. Rhodey and Nat go after him, and Clint blinks. 

"Well. That was dramatic," he drawls, and Steve sighs. 

"Hey, everyone. This is my friend Bucky."

Everyone waves, except Sam, who gets up and walks towards them. 

"You remember me?" he asks. 

Bucky nods warily, as though expecting to get punched again. "I remember you."

"You tried to kill me."

"I know. And I don't think there are enough sorries in the world for--”

"You gonna do it again?"

"What?" Bucky looks confused at the interruption. 

"Are you going to try and kill me again?" Sam asks patiently. 

"No?"

"Then we're cool. I'm Sam." Sam sticks his hand out, and Bucky stares at it for a moment before reaching out and shaking it. 

"Nice to meet you. I'm Bucky."

"So you saved Cap here from drowning, right?"

"I guess," Bucky replies, looking confused at the sudden question. 

"Good. So are we still staying here for this meeting or what?" Sam asks, turning away and going back to his seat, and Bucky just looks helplessly at Steve for a few moments before finding a seat of his own. 

Steve sits down beside him, taking from his jacket one of the napkins he'd pocketed from the diner. 

"C'mere, Buck," he says softly, and Bucky turns towards him. "This will sting," he warns, before dabbing at the split on Bucky's lip. Bucky screws up his face slightly, but otherwise stays still, letting Steve tend to his wound. 

A few moments later, Nat comes back, looking harassed. 

"You need to go talk to Tony, Rogers. He's really upset."

"You know why?"

Natasha hesitates. "Yeah, I know."

"Should I come and try to make peace?" Bucky asks, but Steve and Natasha both shake their heads. 

"I'll go alone. See if I can talk him around." He hands Bucky the blood stained napkin, and Bucky holds it to his lip as Steve gets up.

He goes through to where Tony is sitting with Rhodey. Rhodey stands up when he goes in but says nothing, just gives him a meaningful look before leaving. 

"Tony..." Steve begins, and Tony looks at him. 

"How could you keep this from me, Rogers?"

"I hoped you wouldn't have to find out. It wasn't really him that did those things."

"I don't care, he killed my mom!" 

Steve closes his eyes briefly. "And you think he doesn't feel bad about that? You think the guilt doesn't absolutely eat him up inside? Knowing that he did all those terrible things because Hydra made him?"

Tony rubs his hand, and Steve can see the knuckles are raw where he's clearly split them on Bucky's face. 

"I don't care. He killed my parents."

Steve sighs. They're getting nowhere. "How did you find out?"

"Oh, you can get pretty much anything on the internet these days if you know where to look, including the records for weaponised assassins. I looked him up when Natasha told me you'd found him and were bringing him back here."

“Then you should know what they did to him, Tony. The torture they put him through, the brainwashing--all of it.”

“I don’t care,” Tony says, although he sounds less certain than he did before.

"Are you coming back for the meeting?" Steve asks.

"You want me to punch your friend again?"

"No, Tony, I want you to look at this like a rational adult and see that the man in there is not the man who killed your parents. The man in there is my friend, and an ally," Steve says firmly, trying his best not to get angry. 

"Have the meeting without me. I'm not going back in there yet."

"Fine," Steve says with a sigh. "I'm sure Rhodey will fill you in."

He stalks back out into the other room, and Bucky looks at him questioningly. There's a bruise darkening on his chin as well as the split lip, and Steve's eyes narrow. 

"Steve, I'm fine," Bucky says quietly. "It was nothing I didn't deserve."

"You did not deserve that, Buck. We've talked about this."

"We gonna start this meeting or what?" Clint asks loudly, and Steve shoots him a glance. 

"Yeah. Tony won't be joining us--he says we should have the meeting without him."

Sam nods. Steve catches Wanda giving Bucky a small smile when he looks her way. 

The meeting is kind of boring--mostly a discussion of the intel they'd gathered in Romania and what their next move would be--and by the end it's lunch time and Steve just wants to get out of there. Before he can escape with Bucky, however, Nat walks up to him and slides her arm through his. 

"So, Rogers, I hear you're taking me to lunch."

"Oh, I am, huh?"

"You are, because I'm an awesome friend and I deserve it."

Steve grins. "As long as it's cool with Bucky," he says, raising his eyebrows at his friend. 

"Fine by me.” Bucky smiles, and Nat nods. 

"Okay, so, there's this really great Turkish place right around the corner that you're taking us to..." she begins, and keeps up the friendly chatter the whole elevator ride down. Bucky begins to relax as she talks on, occasionally even offering his own responses, and Steve smothers a smile. 

Nat leads them to the restaurant. The lunch rush hasn't quite started yet so they get seated straight away. Bucky holds a chair out for Natasha, and she sits on it with a raised eyebrow at Steve. 

"Well, at least _one_ of you is a gentleman," she jokes, and Steve rolls his eyes. 

"Yeah, well, Bucky's always been a charmer." He sighs. "How long do you think Tony's going to be mad for? I mean, I don't blame him for being angry, but he needs to channel his anger towards the people who are really responsible."

Natasha shrugs. "He'll take a while to process things, but he’ll calm down and think about it rationally eventually."

"You sure?" Bucky asks quietly. "Given what I did..."

"And it wasn't really you, Buck. We've been through this. Nobody in their right mind would blame you for the things the Winter Soldier did. You--the real you--are as different to the person they made you into as night and day, anyone can see that."

Bucky looks at him, his expression soft, then glances at the menu. "Hmm, I'm going to the bathroom, but if they come to take our order while I'm in there, order me a beer and the kuzu beyti, will you?"

Nat nods, her eyes on Steve, and Bucky is barely out of earshot when Nat kicks him and whispers, "I don't think you've been entirely honest with me, Rogers."

"What? How?" Steve asks, confused. 

"You've always said that Bucky was your friend, but the way you two look at each other… there's something else going on there."

"There's not!" Steve protests, then sighs. "Not any more. Not now."

"But there was?"

Steve's lips twist in a grimace. "Bucky and I were friends from when we were kids, together from when I was nineteen. We--he was my world, Natasha. And now I don't know what he's thinking, but he hasn't indicated that he even remembers that aspect of our relationship, so..." He trails off, and Nat looks at him sympathetically. 

"I'm sorry, Steve."

Steve shrugs. "Not much anyone can do about it. And I'm not going to push. Seems to me he's been pushed into enough in his life."

Nat nods. "Yeah, I understand. But maybe you have to let him know that you'd be open to it, because maybe he doesn't know."

Steve's eyes widen. He hadn't thought of that, but now that Nat has mentioned it...

Bucky comes back and sits down heavily on his seat. "What did I miss?" he asks, looking at Steve in confusion when he blushes. 

***

Steve thinks of Natasha’s words for the rest of the day, but he can't decide on a way to broach the subject. As he lays in bed that night he obsesses over every look, every touch, every word from Bucky to see if there are any clues to how he's feeling, but comes up blank. 

The following day, after they've both showered and dressed, Steve stretches as he looks in his refrigerator and cupboards. 

"I need to buy groceries," he says, laughing. "I have, like, no food." 

"You want company?" Bucky calls from his position on the sofa, and Steve goes back through, shaking his head. 

"Nah, you can come next time, but today speed is of the essence and I know what I want. Tell you what, I'll go get groceries, then we'll go out for a late brunch. How does that sound?"

"Sounds good." Bucky smiles, and Steve resists the ever-growing urge to go over to where he's sitting and kiss him. 

"All right," Steve says, grabbing his keys, jacket and wallet. "I'll be back soon."

Bucky waves at him as he leaves. Steve goes down and out into the cool morning air. He does his shopping quickly, loath to leave Bucky by himself for too long, before heading back. 

As he walks down the hallway back towards his apartment, however, he can see that the door is open and hears a raised voice coming from inside--a raised voice that sounds like Tony’s. 

"Shit," Steve curses under his breath, and creeps towards the door, pushing it open gently and silently dropping his bags just inside. 

Tony is standing in front of Bucky in his full Iron Man suit, his hand fisted in Bucky's shirt. 

"I'm going to make you wish you were never born," Tony hisses.

Bucky shrugs, his eyes dull. "Join the queue." 

And fuck, Steve's heart breaks all over again for his friend, while his anger rises against Tony. 

"What the hell is going on in here?" he asks loudly, and Tony turns his head towards him, still keeping hold of Bucky. 

"Rogers! Your boy and I were just having a conversation about how I'm going to tear him apart for what he did to my parents," Tony says, his voice deceptively calm. 

Steve closes his eyes. He knows that Tony is hurting, and that he'd never really kill Bucky. Tony may be many things, but a cold-blooded killer he is not, and Steve knows this. He might still try and rough him up some, though, so Steve is still on his guard. “You don't really want to do this, Tony,” Steve says gently. “You know you’ll regret it if you do.”

"You think you can stop me?" Tony sneers, but hesitates, his grip on Bucky’s shirt slackening. 

"I know I can. Look, Tony, you're not thinking clearly. I know you're angry. But you need to channel your anger against the people who are really responsible for this--Hydra. Bucky was just a tool. Hydra are the real bad guys in all of this."

"Someone has to pay," Tony hisses, and Steve nods, walking slowly towards them with his hands upraised. 

"I know. And someone will. But this was not Bucky's fault. Bucky is not to blame for this--you know that."

"I still want to hurt you," Tony tells Bucky, and Bucky nods. 

"Do what you need to do," he says quietly.

Tony looks at him for a long moment before relaxing the hand holding on to him. He takes a step back, then turns on his heel and stalks past Steve out of the apartment, slamming the door behind him. 

Steve takes a deep breath. "How the hell did he get in here?"

"I let him in.”

"You let--Jesus, Bucky," Steve says, his eyes wide. "Why?"

Bucky shrugs, not meeting Steve's gaze. "I don't know if I'm worth all of this, Steve."

Steve closes his eyes briefly. "What you did all those years… it wasn't you. You didn't have a choice."

"I know," Bucky says quietly. "But I did it."

Steve immediately strides up to Bucky and wraps him in a hug. "I don't care," he says softly into Bucky's ear, and Bucky's arms come up around his waist. "I don't care about any of that, Buck. I know who you are, and you will always be worth it to me."

Bucky buries his face in Steve's neck, and Steve can feel damp tracks making their way down his skin. He doesn't want Bucky to know that he’s aware he's crying, so he just holds him tight until Bucky pulls back, his eyes slightly red. 

"So," Steve says gently, "brunch?”

"Yeah. Brunch," Bucky agrees, and together they leave the apartment. 

***

When they return from brunch, they just hang out for the rest of the day in Steve's apartment. Steve puts on _Singing in the Rain_ and makes Bucky watch it with him, the two of them relaxing together on the sofa. He can't help his grin when Bucky reluctantly tells him that he enjoyed it. 

"I wish I could dance like that." Steve sighs, and Bucky gives him an amused look. 

"Why?"

"I don't know." Steve shrugs. "It would just be nice to have a skill that’s so timeless, you know?"

Bucky knocks their shoulders together. "You don't need to learn to dance like that though. You could learn to knit?"

Steve shoots Bucky a glare and sees that he's trying not to laugh. "Oh, fuck you, Bucky. Don't you start with the old man jokes, I get enough of that from Natasha. Besides, you're a year older than me."

"Don't remind me." Bucky groans, pinching the bridge of his nose. "I refuse to think about that right now."

Steve cooks them pasta for dinner, making a sauce from scratch, and Bucky digs in, moaning around his mouthful. 

"Where did you learn to cook like this? This is amazing, Steve!"

Steve smiles, pleased. "I picked up some cookbooks and taught myself. You like it, then?"

"So good." 

They both manage to clear their plates and once they've finished, they take a couple of beers through to the living room, chatting until it's time for bed. Steve goes through to his bedroom and closes the door, leaning his forehead against it and sighing discontentedly before changing for bed. 

***

It's dark when Steve is awoken by a noise. He blinks himself awake and strains his ears, only to hear moaning coming from the other room. 

He gets up and pads through to the living room, where Bucky is tossing and turning under the covers, clearly in distress even though he’s still asleep. _Nightmare_ , Steve thinks, and goes over to shake Bucky awake. 

Bucky's eyes fly open and he clutches at Steve, looking up at him unseeingly for a moment before his eyes focus and he slowly starts to relax. 

"You okay, Buck?" Steve asks softly. 

Bucky shakes his head. "It was all of them," he says, upset. "All your friends, and you, and I'd killed you all, and you were just lying there, and..."

Steve sits on the couch and pulls Bucky into a hug. "It was just a nightmare, Buck. Just a bad dream." He thinks for a moment, then gets up, pulling Bucky's arm. "Come on. You're bunking with me tonight."

"What? Steve..." Bucky says, looking unsure, and Steve sighs. 

"If you're gonna have any more nightmares tonight, I want to know about it. Goddamn Tony," he adds darkly, and Bucky doesn't ask what he means, but nods instead. 

"Okay. Thanks, Steve."

"No need to thank me, just get your ass through to bed," Steve says with a smile. Bucky follows him through and they climb into Steve's bed. It's both familiar and not. Bucky keeps to his own side of the bed, but his presence is soothing, and soon Steve drifts off again into a deep sleep. 

He wakes the next morning to the feel of an arm around his waist and someone's head on his shoulder. Bucky, still dead to the world, is wrapped around him. Steve smiles, daring a kiss on the top of Bucky's head as he slumbers. 

He lays there for a few more minutes, not wanting to move and disturb Bucky, but then Bucky shifts and yawns, before freezing. 

"Uhhh," he says eloquently. 

"Morning, Buck." Steve grins. "Sleep well?"

"Oh my god, Steve, I'm so sorry," Bucky says quietly, trying to pull back, but Steve wraps his arms around Bucky's waist and holds him in place. 

"Why are you sorry? I was kind of enjoying that," Steve replies, figuring he might as well put all his cards on the table. 

Bucky looks up at him, and his eyes drop to Steve's mouth. Steve licks his lips, unsure, and then before Steve can overthink it Bucky is leaning up and kissing him and it feels like coming home. Steve slides a hand up to tangle in Bucky's hair as they kiss languidly, but Bucky suddenly pulls back, blushing. 

"God, I'm… I'm sorry, Steve."

"Why?" Steve asks bluntly. 

"I'm not going to force this on you," Bucky replies firmly, and Steve laughs. 

"Do you think you could? In case you didn't notice, I was kind of enjoying myself. I just didn't think you wanted me like that any more."

Bucky's eyes go wide. "Steve--god, how could I not? You're _Steve_."

"And you're Bucky, and you have no idea how much I've missed this," Steve says. 

"I think I have some idea," Bucky responds ruefully, and Steve grins up at him. 

"So are we gonna talk about it all day, or are you going to kiss me again?"

Bucky looks down at him fondly, then leans in. They kiss for what feels to Steve like hours, neither of them moving to deepen it, before Bucky pulls back. 

"Hey," he says hoarsely, smiling. 

"Hey, yourself," Steve responds, and then Bucky is kissing him again. This time, however, the kiss quickly grows heated, and Bucky's hand is under Steve’s T-shirt, stroking over his stomach, before sliding down further to massage Steve's hard cock through his boxers. 

"Tell me to stop and I will," Bucky murmurs against his lips. 

"Don't you fucking dare stop, ah, god, Bucky--" Steve gasps as Bucky pulls his boxers down and gets a hand on his cock. Bucky begins to stroke him, obviously remembering just the way Steve likes it, and Steve moves his hips restlessly, fucking Bucky's fist as they move together. 

Bucky kisses him again, and Steve can feel his orgasm building. He tears his mouth away from Bucky's as Bucky twists his hand under the head of Steve's cock, and cries out Bucky's name as his cock pulses and he comes all over himself. 

He rolls Bucky onto his back, pulling his sweatpants off and grinning when he discovers Bucky's naked underneath them. He straddles Bucky's thighs and starts to stroke him as he leans down for another kiss. Bucky clutches at Steve's hips, metal and skin biting into Steve's flesh. 

Steve strokes Bucky the way he remembers Bucky liking it, swiping his thumb over the head to gather the moisture there before spreading it down Bucky's cock and stroking him at a pace that makes Bucky's hips shift underneath him. Then Bucky is groaning into his mouth and Steve feels his cock jerk as he comes. Steve strokes him through it before lifting his hand up to his mouth, licking off Bucky's come. It tastes how he remembers it and it makes his mouth water. 

Then Bucky is grabbing at his shoulders--"C'mere, Steve.”--and pulling him down into a deep kiss. 

"Mmm, I think we both need a shower," Steve says at length. Bucky laughs, and Steve's heart clenches at the joyful sound. Maybe they're going to be okay after all. 

***

They go out for waffles again, sitting opposite each other in the small booth, but this time Steve can't stop smiling and Bucky is playing footsy with him under the table. 

"So what do you want to do today?" Steve asks, and Bucky's gaze darkens. 

"What I really want to do is finish breakfast, then take you home and fuck you until you can't see straight," he says, his tone a promise, and Steve's eyes widen. 

"Jesus, Buck," he responds, laughing. "Yeah, okay, let's do that."

The waitress comes over to fill their cups with steaming hot coffee, and Bucky lifts his to his mouth, lips pursing as he blows over it. Steve can't help but think about those full lips wrapped around his cock and he groans softly, feeling his cock start to harden. 

Bucky grins at him, as if he knows exactly what's going on, but then the waitress is bringing over their waffles and bacon and Steve distracts himself with eating. It's hard, though, when Bucky's foot is stroking up and down his calf and Bucky is looking at him over his breakfast with that expression in his eyes that Steve remembers so well. 

Finally they finish up, and Bucky insists on paying this time. When Steve protests, Bucky narrows his eyes. 

"Steve. I have money. Let me buy breakfast, for god's sake," he says huffily, and Steve holds up his hands in surrender. 

They walk back to the apartment, arms occasionally brushing together. As soon as they're inside the door Bucky closes it behind them and pushes Steve up against it, kissing him deeply. 

"Bedroom?" 

Steve nods. Bucky starts to strip as he walks, and Steve gets so distracted by all the naked skin currently on show that he forgets to take his own clothes off as he stares, with his mouth hanging open at the sight. By the time they reach the bedroom, Bucky is naked and Steve is still fully clothed. 

Bucky sits on the edge of the bed and raises an eyebrow, and Steve gets with the program, clumsily pulling his T-shirt off over his head. He leans down to kiss Bucky as he undoes his jeans, but he's barely started to push them down when Bucky twirls him around and pulls Steve down onto his lap. 

Bucky slides his right hand around to Steve's hip as he kisses a line up from Steve's shoulder to his ear, and Steve brings a hand up to hold Bucky's head in place. He can feel Bucky's hard cock pressing against his bare ass and flushes at the sensations coursing through him. 

"Fuck, Bucky," Steve moans, as Bucky bites down gently on his earlobe. 

"What do you want, Steve?" Bucky asks hoarsely. 

"Want you inside me, Buck, need to feel you inside me." Steve gasps as Bucky's hand drifts from his hip to squeeze his cock. 

"You got stuff?"

Steve nods and stands up, kicking off his jeans and pulling off his socks as he goes towards the bedside cabinet and takes the lube from the drawer. He lays down on the bed and hands it to Bucky as Bucky sits beside him. 

"You been fucking other guys?" Bucky murmurs against his lips, and Steve shakes his head. 

"Never, Buck, only you, only ever you, _fuck_ ," Steve cries out as Bucky starts to stroke him slowly, the metal of his hand cold against Steve's sensitive flesh. 

Bucky clambers over Steve to lay on his other side and pops open the lube, smearing it over the fingers of his right hand. He leans in to kiss Steve as his fingers trail down, over Steve's cock to his balls, and down behind them to play with his asshole. Steve spreads his legs wide to allow Bucky access, and Bucky laughs against his mouth. 

"God, Steve, look at you--so desperate for my fingers inside of you."

"Bucky, _please_ ," Steve whines, and Bucky kisses him again as he pushes in a finger. 

"Shh, baby, you know I'll take care of you," Bucky says softly, and Steve nods. He doesn't doubt it for a second. 

Bucky adds a second finger, fucking him slowly, opening him up, but then he crooks his fingers up and Steve's hips come off the bed as his cock jerks and leaks over his stomach. 

"Bucky..."

"Hush, Steve. I've got you," Bucky says, and does it again, rubbing his fingers unceasingly against Steve's prostate as he stretches him, making Steve groan at the sensations. By the time Bucky adds a third finger Steve is moaning wantonly, hips moving as he fucks himself down onto Bucky's fingers. 

He looks down to see that Bucky's cock is hard, and Steve reaches down to rub his thumb against the moisture at the slit. He sucks his thumb into his mouth, tasting Bucky, and Bucky groans. 

"Fuck, Steve, you're gonna be the death of me." He chuckles, pulling his fingers out and reaching for the lube. "How do you want to do this?"

"On my back, Buck," Steve says without hesitation. "Want to see you."

He grabs a pillow from beside him and shoves it under his hips. Bucky slicks up his cock before positioning himself, and then it's all blunt pressure and stretch as Steve scrabbles at Bucky's shoulders, trying to get purchase. 

When Bucky's hips meet Steve's ass, he pauses, panting, sweat breaking out on his forehead, and Steve pulls him down into a kiss as he wills his body to adjust. At length, he pulls back, nodding, and Bucky smiles down at him as he starts to thrust. 

He shifts the angle of his hips until Steve cries out, "Oh yes, fuck, Bucky, right there, oh my god," Bucky's cock hitting his prostate on every thrust. Steve knows he's not going to last long--it's been too long, and he's too worked up from the feel of Bucky finally being inside him again--and he brings a hand down to stroke himself as Bucky fucks him hard and fast. 

Sure enough, it's not long until Steve can feel his orgasm building, and he gasps. “God, Buck, gonna come, you're gonna make me come," before crying out as he comes over his hand and stomach. Bucky reaches down to kiss him again, not even pausing in his rhythm, but it's only a few moments before Bucky's hips still as his cock pulses inside Steve. 

Bucky kisses him between pants as they both catch their breath, and then Bucky is pulling out gently. Steve winces slightly, and Bucky kisses him again. 

"You okay?" he asks softly. 

"I'm amazing," Steve replies, pulling him in for more kisses. 

***

They barely leave the bed for the rest of the day, as they relearn each other's bodies after so long apart. They order takeout and eat it in bed, and finally fall asleep wrapped around each other, smiles on their faces. 

The next day, Steve is just out the shower when his phone buzzes. He looks at it suspiciously when he sees Tony's name on the caller ID. 

"Hello?" he answers warily. 

"Rogers. You and Barnes need to get over here ASAP. There's something you need to see."

"You gonna attack him again?" Steve snarks, and Tony sighs. 

"No. Just… get over here."

Tony hangs up without saying goodbye, and Steve stares at his phone in confusion, before heading back through to the bedroom where Bucky is getting dressed. 

"That was Tony. He says he wants us to go meet him."

"He gonna attack me again?"

"I hope not.” Steve shrugs. “He didn't sound particularly angry.”

"Okay then."

They finish dressing before heading downstairs and taking Steve's bike to Avengers Tower. By the time they get there, the whole team is already gathered, waiting on them. Nat takes one look at the two of them and wolf whistles, making Steve blush. 

"Oh good, you're here," Tony says, before bringing up a video on his screen. "Recognize this guy?" 

Steve shakes his head, but Bucky tenses beside him. 

"He was one of my handlers when I was in Russia. He's the one who..." Bucky trails off and the look he slants at Tony is full of guilt.

Tony nods. “Exactly. And I've just discovered where he lives and I'm pretty sure it's time for some payback. You want to help?"

"Hell, yeah," Bucky says vehemently, and Steve nods. 

"All right, everyone," Steve says loudly. "Suit up. "We've got another mission." 

As everyone gets up to find their suits, Steve nudges Bucky's shoulder. 

"You sure you're up for this? You don't have to come."

"And miss the chance to see you in your outfit again?" Bucky laughs. "No way."

Steve can't help but grin as he goes to get changed. Maybe things aren't perfect yet, but they will be. 

He has faith.

**Author's Note:**

> You can also find us on tumblr, username oktoberthered (artist) and velvetjinx (author)!


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